utanminkatt

i was fourteen
when my best friend’s
mother pulled me aside
and told me

you’ve lost so much weight
you’re beautiful
good job

fingers smelled of gastric acid
but at least i looked beautiful

i was fourteen
when a teacher i had
never spoken to
took the liberty
and told me

be proud
of how much weight you’ve lost
you look great

stomach growled
but at least i looked great

i was fourteen
and never once
did anyone take the time
to validate me as a person

a human being

all i ever heard is that i was beautiful
but only after inviting 
a monster
into my head